Sweet 2016

Hello, hello!

I haven't posted here in such a long, long time, and I found last night that I was able to resurrect my blog!

The main reason why I had stopped posting was due to the crossover from Blogger to GoDaddy.
Originally, I purchased my domain name, hibkoko.com, from Blogger. When Blogger moved this service over to GoDaddy, I managed my domain through there, until GoDaddy decided to sell the URL on.... Fabulous!

I couldn't access my blog at all. And last night, I was finally able to access it, for the first time in at least a year and a half!

So here we have it. Whether I carry on blogging at hibkoko or change to a brand new name, I'll be sticking to this from now on. I used to have such passion for blogging, and I wanted to reignite that passion I once had.

So for now, let's have a bit of a catch up, as my life has changed quite a lot since I last posted.

Let's see...


So the last time I posted:
I was 23 years old.
I had been living at home with my parents again for a while.
I was working as an Assistant Manager for a Topshop store.
I had silver hair.
I had a few facial piercings.
I had one tattoo.

Although not huge topics, these are some main, and noticeable (visually especially) things in my life that have changed!

Roll on 2016 (even though I'm still going to be writing 2015 on everything for the next few months) and all of the above, has now become the below:

I'm 25 years old. 

How on earth did this happen?!! To be honest, I've had the attitude and mindset of a grandmother for many years now so it's not like it makes so much of a difference.

I live alone again.

Okay, so not totally alone. I live with Aimee! I'll have been living with her for two years in March.

I work in Head Office for Topshop Topman.

I work Monday to Friday again, woohoo! I enjoy my job so much more, and I have such a lovely team. (That's me on my last day in store above, and below, is me and some of my team now.)

I'm a blonde....again?

Yeah.... so I always end up going back to blonde. Long time followers of this blog will know that! I did go dark blue and mint green by mistake back in 2014 actually!

I only have three piercings now.

Okay, so not the most important thing, alongside not having silver hair, but it was a pretty big change! I now only have my right nostril, septum, and tongue piercing.

I now have a fair few tattoos...

That's some of them. 90% of the tattoos are on my legs, and it looks like they're the part of my body that will be most covered! 

I'm really looking forward to writing more entries and really getting to know everyone again, and hopefully, everyone can get to know me again too!

girls on top

Hello!

So, since I posted last week about my new house and how happy I was...well, things have taken a slightly different turn. A turn for the worse, but also a turn for the ..good??

The same evening I wrote the post about how happy I was and that we were moving etc (it has since been removed, so I'm sorry if you didn't get the chance to read it!) Adam didn't come home until 2am, after I had posted a status on Facebook worried sick about him. The next day, he was angry at me for writing it, and after work that night, when we came home he told me he had been unhappy about our relationship for a few months, had started to like someone else (that he works with) and not really loved me as much during this time. He also said that the status I wrote got him told off at work and it made him look "unprofessional" because his colleagues could see it (even though his work wasn't even mentioned). Not really sure how that one works....

Anyway, on Tuesday he officially ended things with me, (after thinking I already knew things were over) and so, I HAVE moved out, and I'm back living with my parents, which in a way, I'm actually really happy about! I'm so grateful to have such a loving and supporting connection of friends and family to help me get through this whole thing. Today I moved the last bits out of our old place and I didn't really feel sad, but it was a bit upsetting to see the room how it was with all my stuff gone. Today I've felt quite good and I know it's going to get better from here!

The hardest parts for me to deal with, and for both of us is how things ended. There are always two sides to a story, whether they be good or bad, and I think that even though I *think* I deserve the right to be really angry and super upset because there is now a 3rd person involved who is potentially going to take someone away from me forever, the same thing is obviously happening to him (minus the 3rd person) and sometimes things get so misconstrued. It's not easy for me not to write certain things online just to make me feel better because that's usually a quick fix for frustration and in the long run, it's not the best idea. I've been burned by doing that before, so I've learnt to be more careful about the things I say online and to whom I say them to, because online, anyone can see what you write. Even if you delete something, there is a always a memory of it somewhere that could come back to haunt you later on in life. Damn hackers!

Realistically, this has been hard both mentally and physically, as we lived together, and moving physically out of someone's life is so shit. That wasn't the case with my previous boyfriend so the break-up was a little easier, but it still hurt. In this case we grew apart, but there are always things that can be fixed (from the way I see it anyway). I guess if you really want to try, things can hopefully become better, but if you don't want to try then things can't, and they feel even more shit. I think one thing that upsets me is that while I think that the problems we have together are fixable, Adam doesn't seem to think so. I'm not sure if it's because I'm too naive to think that way or if it's because I don't want to let go to what we had, but it almost seems like an unwillingness to make things right. That, I've told him!

When you want to give your life to someone and it's someone who you've never cared for more than anything in the world before, this comes with such a hard blow. I was ready (and deep down, still am) to give my life to him, to have kids and settle down and make a life for ourselves. He is the first person I've ever told that to, and the only one who has ever made me feel that way. That's not something that can change overnight, you could dislike someone overnight, but you can't change the way you feel about them deep down. Adam told me that he felt the same way and that would never change for him, but when someone is breaking up with you and saying that, it feels so hard to believe and understand. I sound like a weird psycho ex-girlfriend who could be pleading with the other half to get back together, but it's because this has been the best thing to ever happen to me, and now it's pretty much gone. You can't make someone feel a certain way and you can't make them do what you want them to, but again, deep down and really lodged away inside, I still really feel like we could get through this, look past the things that caused us to drift and begin again.

And so on to new beginnings. A trip to Japan, Paris and plenty of other things are in the works and I feel like I have so many opportunities and experiences to grab a hold of! Now I just have to sift through the crap that I've accumulated and eBay/throw the stuff I don't want! Thank goodness for free listing fees this weekend!

I AM ON TOP!

Janvier

Happy New Year!

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a great start to the New Year!

Both were fairly quiet and family orientated for me, although it was nice :) We also had a Christmas meal at our flat which was fun and cute!

On Christmas Eve, it was really nice not to have to worry about setting an alarm for the next morning! Me and Adam slept like babies, ahh it was so nice. We went to a family friend's house on Xmas Eve for drinks and some food and stuff and it was really fun! It's an old friend of my dad, whose daughters used to babysit me and my sister, and one whom I used to work with! We had this really yummy mini jello shots, and I really want to make some of my own now, as the recipe seems really easy, and it's fun to try them out with your friends~

I don't have any photos of my Xmas gets, but I got a Benefit gift card, some perfume, sweets, and just cute things :)! It was really nice to be around my family too; I kinda miss them now that i'm away all the time :(

New Years weekend was relaxing again, and I got to play with a pug for a good part of it! I almost didn't make it to midnight either as I was extremely tired >.< We played lots of boardgames and Wii too to pass the time, and then when it came to the countdown, we put the TV on to see the fireworks, which were pretty awesome! Here's a video if you didn't get to see them!

I went to H&M in the city centre on NYE with Adam to see if there was anything in the sales and just to have a browse, and I ended up spending the rest of my gift card leftover from my birthday on these:

anyone who knows me, knows I <3 the H&M Hello Kitty socks that they randomly bring out.  Not only are they super cute but there is a double entendre in me 1)loving Hello Kitty and 2)loving Japan ;D Awesome!

I also went to the Body Shop and saw that they were having a sale! Select FULL SIZE Body Butters reduced to £5 (although the Coconut one wasn't included which sucks as it's my favourite) as well as some scrubs and other bits too! I got these:

 The perfume wasn't part of any sales, I just bought it to replace my old Vanilla perfume as the bottle started to leak really randomly (even though I never knew when) and I lost lots of the perfume! I bought it in February last year when I was visiting Monica and Ingvild in Norway, so for a tiny bottle it lasted ages! But I guess it would have lasted a lot longer had the bottle not gone weird :s

But that's mainly it! I've been working since, and trying to think of things to do for this year! Next month will be me and Adam's one year anniversary; weird huh? But really nice of course :D

See you soon!