donc

Bonsoir!

I wanted to let you all know about some exciting news (it keeps coming, I tell ya!) about some upcoming trips that I have to the wonderful Parisian streets of France!

Yep, that's right, I'm going to Paris! I haven't been since 2007/8 when I went on a school trip (lol) but I used to go to France quite a lot with my family via the Eurotunnel and Eurostar. I think my parents really wanted to make sure me and my sister were "cultured" in some way or another and really enjoyed taking us on day-trips to see France! It's so weird thinking that you can essentially be in another country in about an hour! (dependant on the journey type of course)

Photos from the last time I was in Paris...5 years ago! I look so different in that middle picture (on the left!)

Anyway, I'll be going to Paris twice in the next few months, how lucky! But this is going to be pretty awesome too, as I haven't been anywhere abroad this year, with my last two trips abroad being in the late summer of last year! I'll be going first in May with my Japanese friend Yukika, who I met at the end of last year and who is coming to study in England from April-June! She's so cute, and I actually met her through a music artist, after seeing her in a video on YouTube! I started following her on Instagram and we became friends! It's crazy what can happen online!

Here we are at M&M's world!

She has never been to Paris and wanted to go really badly, and after uploading some photos of Tokyo Disney and Disney Sea on her IG, I was thinking "hmm... maybe we should do Euro Disney!" so, yeah! It's happening! I'm so amped to go! I haven't been to Euro Disney, only Tokyo Disney & Disney Sea!

Tokyo Disney Sea '09

Tokyo Disney '10

I really want to wear my Mickey/Minnie ears hat around the park...I hope I don't forget to pack it!! We'll also be exploring Paris for a day, and it will be nice to find souvenirs and things to take photos of! Haha, what a typical tourist! My second trip to Paris will be in July  and I'll be going with the lovely Michelle who runs Roxie Sweetheart and some other really amazing girls, like Ellen from Cyberdog Brighton! We'll be going to Japan Expo which is something I've wanted to go to for a long time, but never really got around to sorting a trip out! I know there was a UK Japan Expo back in 2007/8 but apparently it wasn't very good, and I don't think they've done one since! I've heard so many great things about the one in Paris, so I'm really excited to be going!

Well, of course I'll be sharing photos and videos of my trips, and of course I shall write about them! I hope you're looking forward to these entries! I'll leave you with this really empowering song by Bif Naked, one of my favourite artists! I felt a bit strange today and listening to this really brought my mood up! Enjoy <3 p="">

revert and revibe

Hello!

It's a cold, and kind of sunny morning here in the UK. It's also the start of my 2 days off, woo hoo! I also have Easter Sunday off as my store is closed (score) so it's almost like I have 3 days off this week - except that our work week runs from a Sunday, so that means I have this Sunday and then next Tuesday of....Wow, I'm boring, haha!

Anyway, as the titles suggests, I've been thinking a lot about "RE" things in my life. Such as, RE-doing a lot of the things I used to do that I've found myself slipping away from over the past few years.

One of the things that took a hit was definitely this blog! I ended up going through this phase of wanting to blog, and then going to do it and then thinking "oh, maybe I'll do it later" and it kind of became a strange routine in a way, and then it would be months between each post, and that's a bit shit, considering I used to blog a good few times a week, with really interesting (to me anyway, lol) posts! If you've noticed, I have been blogging a lot more, as these early starts really do help! Although most of the time, I'm getting up to go to work etc, but even on the days I'm not working, I feel way more motivated and less lazy, which is almost a grace, as I can be super lazy!

Another thing is the way I look. I'm not happy with my body, or really the way I look all that much any more, but that's my own "fault" essentially I guess! The laziness ties in with this, as sports and fitness are my LEAST preferred thing in the whole world (next to spiders too). I've noticed that I've fallen out of the shape I used to be, and it's one of those age-old things that gets you down, and no-one but YOU can help yourself. Nobody can say or do anything to make you work, it has to be all about you! That's definitely where I fail hardest. I think I can get the motivation for certain things but other things are the biggest struggle ever! Look at how I used to look in 2011:

Pretty much my last photo shoot right there. And the 'tog that took these pictures ROYALLY PISSED ME OFF. This was from a shoot I did with Georgie back in April 2011 that I talked about here (a lot of the photos in this post died, sorry about that! I don't know why??) and the photographer NEVER sent me my photos, so the only ones I saw were this one and a head shot. He told me he kept sending me my CD and it kept getting sent back to him. Bullshit. Especially when you give him 3 DIFFERENT ADDRESSES to try! I contacted him again about a month ago asking for them again and he gave me another made-up story of "oh um I was robbed, so I don't have anything now". Yada yada yada. Basically, this has left me in such a weird loop with any kind of modelling. I even stopped working with Marc, all down to me again, mainly because of the whole body thing, and also because I wasn't even sure in myself any more. It's kind of sad in a way, because I've managed to lose that one line of my life almost.

BUT. With this NEW life-force I have acquired, I hope to RE-gain what was once lost! I've been looking up fitness classes and ways to keep in shape and to help you look your best. This is for ME personally, and is not a goal that I'm trying to achieve for others (before you ask). I want to join the gym, go to some classes and really get my strength back. I used to be able to practise Para for 3hrs a day. Now I can't even go for 10 minutes without getting so out of breath and wanting to flop on the floor! Pathetic! Lol! I just want to be hot again, haha! I've always wanted to try Pole - little known fact - and someone at work mentioned that she went to a class with her friend the other week and I though, hmm, why not?? I'm going to be so grateful for payday - my bank account won't be - but I'll be booking, and clicking away and hopefully finding some good things to get me back into shape!

After going to see Brooke Candy, I actually felt really proud of my body, as she is one of those women who can make you feel really good about yourself and to love what you have. So I started to love my booty (it's there!) and the way I looked in underwear, but I think the blow of the breakup really made me slouch into a void and made me hate the way I look. Don't get me wrong, I'm not about to go on some crazy power-diet thing and become all anorexic and stuff! I love food WAY TOO MUCH to ever give it up. It's more about not buying so many sweets and cokes and things like that...haha. I watched a video this morning about stomachs and in the video, the lady put a life-size plastic stomach on a plate and was basically saying that your stomach can only take so much, you can't overdo it, and that really shocked and surprised me to think that, actually, yes, I think that's one thing a lot of US are capable of, over-filling ourselves and perhaps not really realising it! 

Staying on the subject of food, I might be going to an American style place for lunch today....I hear they serve great pulled pork! THIS IS WHY I CAN NEVER NOT EAT LOL.

3 INSPIRATIONS FOR ME RIGHT HERE! KELLY, BROOKE AND GWEN.

avalanche

Hello!

Wow, since I've been back home I've been waking up super early all the time, mostly due to a whining cat at 5am, but usually around 6:30/7 every day and I don't feel tired! Amazing! I've never felt like that before after sleep, and I have the biggest bags under my eyes 24/7! I pretty much look like I'm dead with no make-up on - my face is pale, and my eyes have that "sunken" look to them haha.

Speaking of no make-up, today I'm meeting up with Dec to be his "fantasy" make-up model! It's going to be really fun and interesting to do! His make-up skills have always been really bad ass and when we were doing Manba still, I think that was just the beginning of his skills becoming great! He's always been awesome at art too, and the two kind of go hand in hand together. I've noticed that a lot of brilliant make-up artists and models are usually as equally talented with a pencil and paper as they are with brush and face!



Anastasija and Ryo are probably two of my favourite MUAs and models, that are both just so! Plus they're my good friends too!

                           

Anastasija (that's her bottom left!) and some of her make-up looks. She is awesome! She uses a lot of gore and goth themed styles for her make-up looks and you can find the occasional fantasy look too! She actually won first place in the Illamasqua Distinction in Make-up Awards for Non-Professional category! (her entry is the bottom right photo) Well done girl! <3 p="">

Ryo (that's her in the above 3 pics, except the bottom left) is just amazing! I've known her for a few years now, and the day I met her, we ended up modelling together for an exhibition! It was amazing! She usually does fantasy, edgy and colourful make-up looks, and you can always find something spooky there too! She also entered the Illamasqua Distinction in Make-up Awards for Non-Professional category (her entry is bottom right) and asked me to be her model! Unfortunately I couldn't as it was too short notice for me to get the day off work, but she did amazingly well! <3 p="">

But as well as these two amazing girls, there are so many others out there that are amazingly skilled! It really makes me wish I had gone further with make-up, but hopefully this year (finally) with some hard work and perseverance, I'm going to do something! I really want to do a Special FX Make-up course, but the only thing that limits me in a way is 1) the price, as these kinds of courses are always super pricey, even for the short courses, and 2) none of the courses are in London! Yes, I could travel, but it's the cost of travelling out of London however many times a week which gets expensive :s But, it's something I've wanted to do for so, so long. and I need to put my mind to it if I really, and truly want to make it happen! Another thing that's creative and interests me, is the production and skill behind the Jim Henson Creature Workshop. That's like, goal 2 I guess! It's an even more limiting thing that I'd love to do, because 1) there are no more workshops in the UK (Jim Henson was an American but a lot of his films were made here in the UK, and they used to have a workshop in Golders Green, close to where I used to live!) so I can't just travel to North London or wherever it is however many times a week, it would have to be in the USA and 2) I'd definitely need some kind of degree in SOMETHING to be able to even dream of working with such talented people! That is something I lack. Haha. I didn't go to Uni because I wanted life experience and to not get into debt. And that's exactly what I got and I've enjoyed it! 

On another note, I know I mentioned being in a hair show and I'm excited to say that the date has finally been arranged! I'm going to get my hair done at the end of this week! It's so exciting and cool! The only thing is that they've asked me to bring alone "rockabilly" style clothing or anything that looks like "Amy Winehouse" lol!!!! I HATE Amy Winehouse. I don't own anything like that! I guess I'll have to beg, borrow and steal!

Thank you to the kind comments on my last blog entry too, since typing it, I still do feel quite good about myself, and I think in a way, I didn't ever realise or think that I'd be able to feel this good about everything so soon after it happening. Maybe this is the way that things are meant to be? We can't see the future, so you never know what could happen! I know I can be strong, and with time on my side, I'll be able to work through this :)

Things like this have been keeping me sane and keeping me happy! See ya!