Oh god, I was away for soo long..eek! Sorry guys! :(
I think lately i've been feeling really uninspired each day, and it's taking me a great deal of energy to find the time to do anything any more, and I feel almost useless. While i'm happy with my life, I constantly feel that something is missing but I struggle to find what that is.
Fashion-wise, I don't even know what i'm doing any more. I don't wear any make-up (apart from eyebrows, eye liner and mascara) during the weekdays and only pile on the slap for weekends. 1) This makes me (and is definitely) feel very lazy 2) It makes me feel extremely boring 3) It makes me feel hideous. The spark and enthusiasm I had just seems to have evaporated and I can't muster the strength to get it back.. Even Adam said to me recently "what happened to you being sexy all the time?" - in response to me just being lazy and lounging about in pjs and massive hoodies instead of the pj shorts and sheer tops I wore before and making weird facial expressions and body movements instead of me being very "i'm not like that" and rather...ladylike..ish? - and this kind of fell on me like a tonne of bricks or some other horrible building appliance/architectural structure.
Why? I don't know. I can't give anyone any answers, not even myself. I went out clubbing with Monica, Ingvild and Kei a few weeks ago, and what a hot mess I was. I felt so insecure the whole night (mainly because my dress was pushing my chest up a bit too much) and because I felt the odd one out - purple hair, hair in ponytail, rushed make-up - not the done up self I used to pride myself on being.
My health seems to be in a better state now, although i'm still feeling way too tired. I've said it so many times (and not done anything) but this month I SHALL get some vitamins sorted out. Did I mention how big I feel too? My boobs are the biggest they've been, uh, ever and my stomach doesn't settle, ever. I have my good days and my off days but I guess this is all a back line that I hate having to think about...
Sorry to write something so random and thought provoking/slightly morbidly dramatic (almost) after my absence :(